Commandment as to how to behave when dealing with the clerking class.

Anyway.

I've ascend from on high with inscribed tablets, meant to teach you mortals how to act properly when dealing with the clerking class. Because obviously a lot of people's moms and dad neglected to impart this wisdom onto you in between all the talks about drugs and sex.


Commandment for a Counter Monkey :

Commandment I) Regardless of how bad your day/life is I really don't give a shit. But Never Never take your shit out on the people who serve you. No matter how bad your day was there's a 95% chance ours was much much worse. We work our asses at a job that is largely seen as being the lowest rung of societal worth. And we have to deal with on a daily basis people whom have seem to have forgotten how to not act like angry chimps who forgot there dose of Ritalin. And for all this we get paid less then what a slave wages.


Commandment II: Command Harder) No matter how well kept the gas station/convenience store is. It is (in most cases) nether a sit down restaurant nor a social club. In no way shape or from is it OK to fully prepare yourself some food (regardless of how good it is) and proceed to sit down in the middle of the floor and eat said food. Also we are not a meeting place for you to spend an hour and a half catching up with every asshole you haven't seen since high school.



Commandment III: With A Vengeance) If you don't have the time or effort to fill out a lottery slip then chances are your "Lucky" numbers aren't really all that lucky in the first place. While we're on the topic of Lotto if you are too stupid/lazy/rushed to fill out said slip or understand the games rules then maybe that is life's way of telling you that a finical win fall would best be served in other hands. The same rule applies to anyone who has to return bottles or dig for change in order to pay for there tickets.



Commandment IV: Live Free or Command Hard) We have public restroom. Using our public restroom is fine, But for Christ's sake clean up after yourself. Don't leave behind Heroin works' or any other drug paraphernalia while we're at it. On my first day I had to clean up someones used needles, cooked spoon and empty dope baggie. I will remember this till the day I die.
Also if you manage to fuck someone in our bathroom, good for you. That being said I really don't wanna have to clean up your used rubbers. And finally for the love of all that is holy please don't shit in the garbage can. There is absolutely no conceivable reason for you to remove the can's bag and shit in our cans. Only to put the bag back in afterward.

Still trying to figure that one out.


Commandment V: Live Free or Command Hard) No matter how pissed off I may look, or how dark or antisocial or whatever. It doesn't not give you the right to give me pamphlets on how your God could beat up my God. Faith is a fine thing, I myself am a person of faith. But giving me a photo copied booklet covered in smiley face talking about how absolutely perfect your interpretation of Jesus, Buddha, Satan or Cthulhu is. It will never get me or anyone else I know to instantly abandon our beliefs and embrace yours. At best it will just be one more piece of paper thrown out at the end of the night, at worse it will be gone over, and over and over and mocked mercilessly. It's not something I've personally partaken in. But have seen it happen countless times.



Commandment VI (out of Die Hard Puns: A New Hope) If you see one of us smoking outside, leave us the fuck alone. In the company at which I work the only way we get a break is to smoke. I didn't start until I'd been there six months and if I ever get cancer I'm gonna nickname my tumors " The Quicky Rewards". We don't care to hear about how bad it is for our health from the woman with the 64oz mug of soda that she fills three times a day. And no there is no danger, we know exactly where to stand as to no blow up our station.


Commandment VII: The Command Strikes Back) It is not OK to attempt to drink soda, Slushy or nacho cheese directly from the dispense. It is stealing and extremely unhygienic. And in the case of the nacho cheese will probably result in a trip to the ER.



This is all for now.